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Congreve, William, 1670-1729

"The Old Bachelor: a Comedy"


SHARP. And you in return of spleen hate them. But could you hope
to be received into the alliance of a noble family -
HEART. No; I hope I shall never merit that affliction, to be
punished with a wife of birth, be a stag of the first head and bear
my horns aloft, like one of the supporters of my wife's coat.
S'death I would not be a Cuckold to e'er an illustrious whore in
England.
BELL. What, not to make your family, man and provide for your
children?
SHARP. For her children, you mean.
HEART. Ay, there you've nicked it. There's the devil upon devil.
Oh, the pride and joy of heart 'twould be to me to have my son and
heir resemble such a duke; to have a fleering coxcomb scoff and
cry, 'Mr. your son's mighty like his Grace, has just his smile and
air of's face.' Then replies another, 'Methinks he has more of the
Marquess of such a place about his nose and eyes, though he has my
Lord what-d'ye-call's mouth to a tittle.' Then I, to put it off as
unconcerned, come chuck the infant under the chin, force a smile,
and cry, 'Ay, the boy takes after his mother's relations,' when the
devil and she knows 'tis a little compound of the whole body of
nobility.


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