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Rutherford, Mark, 1831-1913

"More Pages from a Journal"


It is almost incredible--I was silent!--but when I reached home I
was overcome with shame and despair. This then was all that my love
was worth; this was my esteem for intelligence and learning; and I
was the man who had thanked God I was not as my neighbours at A.!
If in the beginning I had deliberately resolved that it would be a
mistake to ally myself with Melissa's family because my usefulness
might be diminished, something might have been pleaded on my behalf,
but I was without excuse. I had sacrificed Melissa to no principle,
but to detestable vulgar cowardice. It was about two hours after
noon when I returned, and in my confusion a note from Melissa which
lay upon my table was not at once noticed. It had been written the
day before, and it tenderly upbraided me because I had been absent
for a whole week. Enclosed was a copy of verses by Sir Philip
Sidney beginning, 'My true love hath my heart.' I mounted my horse
again, and in less than half an hour was in B. I flew to Melissa.
She received me in silence, but without rebuke. Indeed, before she
had time for a word, I had knelt at her feet and had covered my face
with her hands.


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