I hardly
realized why then, but I do realize now. It is different in these days
from that night in Paris, when I wished I might be run over by a
motor-car. At that time I should have been glad to die. Now I cling to
life--not just because I'm young and strong, and people call me
beautiful, but because I feel I _must_ stay in the world to see what
happens next.
I kept as still as a frightened mouse. I didn't move. I scarcely
breathed. Presently an aeroplane sailed into sight directly overhead,
and flying so low that I could make out its iron cross, exactly like
photographs I'd seen. Whether the men in it could see me or not I can't
tell; but if they could, perhaps they mistook me for one of the statues
they knew existed in the ruined chapel, and thought I wasn't worth
bombing.
In that case it was St. Joseph and the Virgin who protected me!
In a second the big bird of prey had swept on. I was sick with fear for
a moment lest it should drop an "egg" on to the garden, and kill Brian
or the Becketts, or the lieutenant who had wished to spare us this
danger. Even the O'Farrells I didn't want hurt; and I was pleased to
find out that about myself, because they are a far more constant danger
for me than all the aeroplanes along the German front; and when I came
face to face with realities in my own soul, I might have discovered a
wicked desire for them to be out of the way at any price. But since
Dierdre proved herself ready to die for Brian, I do admire if I don't
like her.
Pages:
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273