He said that all the beauty of earth was his
already, and nothing could take it away. He wouldn't _let_ it be taken
away! He said that sight was first given to all created creatures in the
form of a desire to see, desire so intense that with the developing
faculty of sight, animals developed eyes for its concentration. He
reminded me how in dreams, and even in thoughts--if they're vivid
enough--we see as distinctly with our brains as with our eyes. He said
he meant to make a wonderful world for himself with this vision of the
brain and soul. He intended to develop the power, so that he would gain
more than he had lost, and I must help him.
Of course I promised to help all I could; but there was death in my
heart. I remembered our gorgeous holiday together before the war,
tramping through France, Brian painting those lovely "impressions" of
his, which made him money and something like fame. And oh, I remembered
not only that such happy holidays were over, but that soon there would
be no more money for our bare living!
We were always so poor, that church mice were plutocrats compared to us.
At least they need pay no rent, and have to buy no clothes! I'm sure, if
the truth were known, the money Father left for our education and
bringing up was gone before we began to support ourselves, though you
never let us guess we were living on you. As I sat and listened to Brian
talk of our future, my very bones seemed to melt.
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