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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, June 6, 1891"

_
Cannot discuss Coliseum subject till you've settled New Orleans
lynching business in conformity with International Law.
_PRESIDENT H-RR-S-N TO KING H-MB-RT._
All right. Thought you'd say that. Chicago Syndicate willing to meet
your views about New Orleans. Do you want leading members of Grand
Jury shipped quietly over to Italy, or what? Syndicate will do
anything to oblige. Says it _must_ have Coliseum, especially by
moonlight. Intends starting realistic scenes with Gladiators, Lions,
and Christian Martyrs.
_KING H-MB-RT TO PRESIDENT H-RR-S-N._
On reflection, afraid people here wouldn't like it. Sorry to have to
decline your offer.
_PRESIDENT H-RR-S-N TO KING H-MB-RT._
_You_ want ready cash. _We_ want Coliseum. Why not strike bargain?
Syndicate offers five million dollars. Useful for your next Budget.
You can remit no end of taxes. People sure to like _that_.
_KING H-MB-RT TO PRESIDENT H-RR-S-N._
Couldn't let it go so cheap. Have you thought of Parthenon? Greek
Government might part with it as a loan, on reasonable terms.
_PRESIDENT H-RR-S-N TO KING H-MB-RT._
Thanks for suggesting Parthenon. Chicago Syndicate thinks it's not
good enough. Couldn't bring in the Lions and Martyrs very well. Also
Parthenon by moonlight not such a safe draw as Coliseum.


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