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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"The Astonishing History of Troy Town"

"
"I had guessed that to be the reason," replied Mr. Fogo.
"Well, Sam were a bit tuk aback, but he answers--
"'Iss, I be. Why?'
"'Want 'un berried?'
"'Why, no, not partic'lar. Sooner or later, o' cou'se; but, thank'ee
all the same, I'm thinkin' to do et a bit furder on.'
"'Then,' says the dapper man, 'I'll trouble you to hand over the
berryin' fees for this parish.'
"'But I baint goin' to berry deceased i' this parish.'
"'That don't matter. Ef a corpse has use o' this parish, he's got to
pay fees.'
"'How's that?'
"'Why, a corpse es dead,' says the chap; 'you'll allow that, I
s'pose?'
"'Iss,' says Sam, 'I reckon I'll allow that.'
"'An' ef a corpse es i' this parish, he's dead i' this parish?'
"'Likely he es,' admits Sam.
"'Well, 'cordin' to law, anybody dead i' this parish es boun' to be
berried i' this parish, an' therefore to pay fees,' says the man;
'and now I hopes you'll hand over the money, 'cos the train's
waitin'.'
"Sam was for a raisin' a rumpus, an' gathered a crowd roun' the door;
but they all sided wi' the dapper man, and said 'twas Spaniards' law,
an' ef he wudn' pay, he must get out an' berry the Commodore there
an' then. So he gi'ed in and pulled out the money, an' off they
starts, the dapper man standin' an' bowin' 'pon the platform.


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