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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"The Astonishing History of Troy Town"

This time, jedgin' by the noise, he tuk a
consait that the boys had been a-playin' marbles sure 'nuff; so he
takes two at haphazard, knacks their heads togither, an' then looks
about. Fust thing he sees es th' eye lying out 'pon the aisle an'
lookin' for all the world like a big shiny glass-alley.
"I told 'ee, sir, the Deacon were short o' sight. He hadn' a doubt
by this time the boys had been foolin' about wi' marbles, so he
reaches out, grabs the eye, an' slips et into hes trowsy-pocket; an'
then he takes a glance round, so much as to say, 'I reckon the owner
of this 'ere glass-alley'll ha' to wait afore he sees 'n agen.'
"In cou'se, the rest o' the brethren knawed what had happened, an'
wan or two fell to titterin' a bit; but altogether there was a kind
o' breathlessness for a moment or so, an' then th' ould Mennear sings
out from the pulpit--
"'Brother Hoskins, I'll trouble you to kindly pass up that eye.'
"Deacon Hoskins stared a bit, but was too short o' sight to see what
the matter was.
"'Eh?' says he.
"'Hand up that eye, ef you plaise.'
"'What eye?' says the Deacon.
"Th' ould Mennear stamped and seemed fit to swear.
"'Why, _my_ eye, you nation bufflehead!' The Lawyer didn't mind much
what he said when hes back was up; an' arter all 'twere, in a kind o'
way, 'scuseable.


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