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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"The Astonishing History of Troy Town"


They was a brave long while gettin' et fixed, 'cos 'twas so big.
Ef he'd a-been content an' took a smaller wan, he'd ha' done better:
but he was bound to be over-reachin', was th' ould varmint, an' so he
comed to grief, as you shall hear. There's many folks i' this world
be knowin' as Kate Mullet."
"I never heard of that lady," said Mr. Fogo.
"There's not much to know, sir, 'cept that they say her was hanged
for a fool. Hows'ever, to shorten the yarn, ould Mennear got hes eye
fixed at las', an' went home wi' Aunt Deb'rah so pleased as Punch.
"Nex' Sunday 'twas Hamlet's Ghost 'mong the 'Rig'nal Seceders, an' no
mistake! Some o' the female members fell to screamin' so soon as
iver they clapped eyes on th' ould man, an' Sister Trudgeon was tuk
wi' a fit, an' had to be carr'd out wi' two deacons to her head an'
two to her heels, an' kickin' so that Deacon Hoskins cudn' master hes
vittles for up a fortni't, he was that hurted internally. An' the
wust was, that what wi' the rumpus an' her singin' out 'Pillaloo!'
an' how the devil was amongst mun, havin' great wrath, the Lawyer's
sarmon about a 'wecked an' 'dulterous generation seekin' arter a
sign' was clean sp'iled. Arter the sarvice, too, there was a deal of
discussin'. Some said 'twas senful to interfere wi' Natur' i' that
way, an' wrong in a purfessin' Christian like Mennear; an' all agreed
the new eye gave 'n a janjansy [6] kind o' look, 'as ef,' said Deacon
Hoskins, 'he was blinchin' [7] fifty ways for Grace.


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