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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"The Astonishing History of Troy Town"

"
"To bed, love!"
"Yes, to bed. Don't I speak plainly enough? To bed, ma'am, to bed,
and at once."
"You are upset, dearest; be cool, I implore you."
"Be cool! Be coo'--Don't hector me, ma'am, but fetch that
warming-pan at once. I'll teach you about being cool! Sophy, pull
off my boots."
They obeyed. The warming-pan was brought--an enormous engine, big
enough to hold the Admiral himself--and the bed heated. The Admiral
undressed, and, himself a warming-pan of rage, plunged between the
sheets. It was a wonder the bed-clothes were not on fire.
"Pull down the blind, and bring me something to eat!"
"Yes, love."
"And be quick about it. Can't you see I'm starving?"
It is true that the Admiral's excitement had interfered with his
breakfast that morning, but it was none the less difficult to read
starvation upon his face. Mrs. Buzza obeyed, however; and presently
returned with the liver-wing of a fowl.
"You call that a dinner for a hungry man, I suppose! Bring me some
more!"
"My dear, I didn't know you wanted a dinner."
"Confound it, ma'am! must I put dress-studs in my night-shirt to
convince you I want to dine? Bring me some more!"
"There is no more fowl, dear. I kept this from yesterday's as a
tit-bit for you."
"What is for dinner to-day?"
"Boiled beef: but you said expressly that dinner was to be late
to-day, in consequence of the arrivals, and it is not nearly done
yet.


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