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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 30, 1890"


The Young Lady with the Parcel (to her friend--for the sake of
vindicating her gentility)._ Oh, my dear, I do feel so funny, carrying
a great brown-paper parcel, in a bus, too! Anyone would take me for a
shop-girl!
_A Grim Old Lady opposite._ And I only hope, my dear, you'll never be
taken for anyone less respectable.
[_Collapse of_ Genteel Y. L.
_The Conductor_. Benk, benk! _(he means "Bank")_ 'Oborn, benk! 'Igher
up there, BILL, can't you?
_A Dingy Man smoking, in a Van._ Want to block up the ole o' the road,
eh? That's right!
_The Conductor (roused to personality)._ Go 'ome, Dirty DICK! syme
old soign, I see,--"Monkey an' Pipe!" _(To Coachman of smart brougham
which is pressing rather closely behind.)_ I say, old man, don't
you race after my bus like this--you'll only tire your 'orse. _[The
Coachman affects not to have heard._
_The Conductor (addressing the brougham horse, whose head is almost
through the door of the omnibus)._ 'Ere, '_ang_ it all!--step insoide,
if yer want to!
_[Brougham falls to rear_--_triumph of_ Conductor _as Scene closes_.
* * * * *
IN THE KNOW.
_(By Mr. Punch's Own Prophet.)_
[Illustration]
Readers of this journal will be surprised to learn that I am penning
these lines from Blancheville, which as everybody, except the chief
of the chowder-heads, knows is the most important town of one of the
principal departments of France.


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