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"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, May 7, 1919."


* * * * *
"Englishman, well educated, desires afternoon engagement;
experienced in the care of children; good needlewoman; or
would assist light housework."--_Canadian Paper_.
We hope we shall hear no further complaints from Canada that
Englishmen are not adaptable.
* * * * *
COMMUNICATIONS.
I was sitting in the Club, comfortably concealed by sheets of a
well-known journal, when two voices, somewhere over the parados of the
deep arm-chair, broke in upon my semi-consciousness.
"... Then poor old Tubby, who hasn't recovered from his 1918 dose of
shell-shock, got a go of claustrophobia and felt he simply had to get
out of the train."
The speaker paused and I heard the clink of glass.
"Well?" said the other voice.
"So, before we could flatten him out, he skipped up and pulled the
communicator thing and stopped the train; consequently we ran into
Town five minutes behind time. There was the deuce of a buzz about
it."
"What's five minutes in this blissful land of lotus-eaters? Why, I've
known the Calais-Wipers express lose itself for half-a-day without a
murmur from anyone, unless the Brigadier had run out of bottled Bass."
"But, my dear fellow," the first voice expostulated, "this was the
great West of England non-stop Swallowtail; runs into Town three
minutes ahead of time every trip.


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