Tobacco is nothing without Money, or
Money without Pride, and Pride is but a weakling without Wantonness, nor
is Wantonness aught without Sloth, nor Sloth without Hypocrisy, nor
Hypocrisy without Thoughtlessness. Wherefore, now," said Lucifer,
lifting his infernal hoofs on their claw-ends, "to give my own opinion:
however excellent all these may be, I have a friend better suited than
all to our foe of Britain." Then could I see all the archfiends open
wide their horrid mouths upon Lucifer in eager expectation as to what
this could possibly be, while I too was as anxious as they. "A friend,"
continued Lucifer, "whose true worth I have too long neglected, just as
thou, Satan, tempting Job of yore, didst foolishly turn upon him with
severity. This, my kinswoman, I now appoint regent in all matters
appertaining to my kingdom on earth, next to myself. Her name is
Prosperity: she has damned more than all of you together, and little
would ye avail without her presence. For who in war or peril, in famine
or in plague, would lay any value by tobacco, or by money or by the
sprightliness of pride, or who would deign welcome licentiousness or
sloth? And men in such straits are too wide-awake to be distraught by
Hypocrisy, or even by Thoughtlessness; none of the infernal vermin of
Distraction dare show himself in one such storm.
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