Since this invincible hand shortens my chain, and prevents me from going
myself to the earth, your advice I pray. Whom shall I appoint my viceroy
to oppose yon hateful queen, Our Enemy's vicegerent?"
"Oh! thou great Emperor of Darkness," said Cerberus, {106a} the demon of
tobacco, "'tis I that supply the third of that country's maintenance, I
shall go, and I will despatch you a hundred thousand of your foemen's
souls through a pipe stem." "In sooth," said Lucifer, "thou hast done me
some good service, what with causing the slaughter of the owners in India
and poisoning those that indulge in it, through the saliva, sending many
to wander with it idly from house to house, others to steal in order to
obtain it, and millions to grow that fond of it that they cannot spend a
single day without it, and be in their right mind. For all this, go and
do thy best, but thou art nought to our present purpose."
Whereupon Cerberus sat down; then rose Mammon, the devil of money, and
with surly skulking mien began: "'T was I who pointed out the first mine
whence money was to be obtained, and ever since I am praised and
worshipped more than God, and men lay their pain and peril, all their
mind, their affection and their trust upon me, yea, there is no man
content, but all crave more of my favor; the more they obtain, the
further still are they from rest, until at last, while seeking ease, they
come to this region of everlasting woes.
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