"My
spiritual father," said the good wife, "I have a burthen too heavy to
bear unless I obtain your mercy to lighten it: I married a member of the
Church of England!" "What!" cried the shorn-pate, "married a heretic!
wedded to an enemy? forgiveness can never be obtained!" At these words
she fainted, while he kept calling down imprecations upon her head.
"Woe's me, and what is worse," cried she when come to herself, "I killed
him!" "Oh ho! thou hast killed him? Well, that's something towards
gaining the reconciliation of the Church; I tell thee now, hadst thou not
slain him, thou wouldst never have obtained absolution nor purgatory, but
a straight gate and a leaden weight to the devil. But where's your
offering, you jade?" he demanded with a snarl. "Here," said she, handing
him a considerable bag of money. "Well," said he, "now I'll make your
reconciliation: your penance is to remain always a widow lest you should
make another bad bargain." When she was gone, the maiden also came
forward to make her confession. "Your pardon, father confessor," cried
she, "I conceived a child and slew it." "A fair deed, i'faith," said the
confessor, "and who might the father be?" "Indeed 'twas one of your
monks.
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