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Melville, Herman, 1819-1891

"Moby Dick: or, the White Whale"

"
"They have, they have. I have seen them--some summer days
in the morning. About this time--yes, it is his noon nap now--
the boy vivaciously wakes; sits up in bed; and his mother tells
him of me, of cannibal old me; how I am abroad upon the deep,
but will yet come back to dance him again."
"'Tis my Mary, my Mary herself! She promised that my boy,
every morning, should be carried to the hill to catch the first
glimpse of his father's sail! Yes, yes! no more! it is done!
we head for Nantucket! Come, my Captain, study out the course,
and let us away! See, see! the boy's face from the window!
the boy's hand on the hill!"
But Ahab's glance was averted; like a blighted fruit tree he shook,
and cast his last, cindered apple to the soil.
"What is it, what nameless, inscrutable, unearthly thing is it;
what cozening, hidden lord and master, and cruel, remorseless emperor
commands me; that against all natural lovings and longings,
I so keep pushing, and crowding, and jamming myself on all the time;
recklessly making me ready to do what in my own proper, natural heart,
I durst not so much as dare? Is Ahab, Ahab? Is it I, God, or who,
that lifts this arm? But if the great sun move not of himself;
but is as an errand-boy in heaven; nor one single star can revolve,
but by some invisible power; how then can this one small heart beat;
this one small brain think thoughts; unless God does that beating,
does that thinking, does that living, and not I.


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