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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Man Upstairs and Other Stories"

Once let him lose his grip on
it, and there was no chance for him. He would be swept away beyond hope
of return.
'What do you mean?' he said hoarsely.
'In dze garten. I you vrom a window did zee. You und Violed. Zo!' And
Adolf, in the worst taste, gave a realistic imitation of the scene,
himself sustaining the role of James.
James said nothing. The whole world seemed to be filled with a vast
baa-ing, as of countless flocks.
'Lizzun!' said Adolf. 'Berhaps I Herr Blazzervig dell. Berhaps not I
do. Zo!'
James roused himself. At all costs he must placate this worm. Mr
Blatherwick was an austere man. He would not overlook such a crime.
He appealed to the other's chivalry.
'What about Violet?' he said. 'Surely you don't want to lose the poor
girl her job? They'd be bound to sack her, too.'
Adolf's eyes gleamed.
'Zo? Lizzun! When I do gom virst here, I myself do to giss Violed vunce
vish. But she do push dze zide of my face, and my lof is durned to
hate.'
James listened attentively to this tabloid tragedy, but made no
comment.
'Anysing vrom dze fillage, sare?'
Adolf's voice was meaning. James produced a half-crown.
'Here you are, then. Get me half a dozen stamps and keep the change.'
'Zdamps? Yes, sare. At vunce.'
James's last impression of the departing one was of a vast and greasy
grin, stretching most of the way across his face.


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