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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Man Upstairs and Other Stories"

I know how little it takes to put you off your
stroke. In an ordinary game you might take one of these boys, I know,
but on an important occasion like this you must not risk it. A grubby
boy, probably with a squint, would almost certainly get on your
nerves. He might even make comments on the game, or whistle. But I
understand you. You must let me carry your clubs.'
'It's very good of you,' said Gossett.
'Not at all,' said Sigsbee.
* * * * *
Archibald was now preparing to drive off from the first tee. He did
this with great care. Everyone who has seen Archibald Mealing play golf
knows that his teeing off is one of the most impressive sights ever
witnessed on the links. He tilted his cap over his eyes, waggled his
club a little, shifted his feet, waggled his club some more, gazed
keenly towards the horizon for a moment, waggled his club again, and
finally, with the air of a Strong Man lifting a bar of iron, raised it
slowly above his head. Then, bringing it down with a sweep, he drove
the ball with a lofty slice some fifty yards. It was rarely that he
failed either to slice or pull his ball. His progress from hole to hole
was generally a majestic zigzag.
Gossett's drive took him well on the way to the green. He holed out in
five. Archibald, mournful but not surprised, made his way to the second
tee.


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