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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Man Upstairs and Other Stories"


A messenger has started in a cab for the Cats' House. I have breathed
a sigh of relief. I am saved.
That is what I say to myself as I return. My troubles are over, and
once more I can be gay, debonair, vivacious with Miss Marion, for no
longer will there be present the cat Alexander to 'arass me.
When I have returned there is commotion in the 'ouse. I pass on the
stairs domestics calling 'Puss, puss!' The butler is chirruping loudly
and poking beneath the furniture with a umbrella. All is confusion and
agitation.
In the drawing-room is Miss Marion. She is distressed.
'Nowhere,' she has said, 'can there be found the cat Alexander of whom
I am so fond. Nowhere in the 'ouse is he, Where can he be? He is lost.'
I am gentle, sympathetic. I endeavour to console her. I 'int to her
that am I not sufficient substitute for a beastly cat? She is, however,
inconsolable. I must be patient. I must wait my time.
Captain Bassett is announced. He is informed of what has 'appened. He
is distressed. He has the air as if he, too, would endeavour to be
gentle, sympathetic. But I am Johnny-on-the-spot. I stay till he 'as
gone.
Next day again it is 'Puss, puss!' Again the butler has explored under
the furniture with the umbrella. Again Miss Marion is distressed. Again
'ave I endeavoured to console.


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