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Warner, Anne, 1869-1913

"Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs"

Well, Mrs. Lathrop,
I went over that advertisement fifty times to try 'n' see what to do 'n'
yet the more I studied it the less faith I had in it somehow. The
picture of the man who tended the trees was up on top 'n' little
pictures of him made a kind of pearl frame around the whole, 'n' he was
honest enough lookin', as far as I could judge, but--as I told Mr.
Kimball--what was to guarantee us as he 'd stick to the same job steady,
'n' I certainly did n't have no longin' in me to buy a rubber tree in
southeast Peru 'n' then leave it to be hoed around by Tom, Dick, 'n'
Harry. So I shook my head 'n' said 'no' in the end 'n' then we looked up
railway stocks. Mr. Kimball read me a list of millionaires 'n' he asked
me if I would n't like to be called 'Susan Clegg, queen of the Western
Pacific'--but I 'm too old to be caught by any such chaff, 'n' I told
him so to his face, and then it was that we come to his favorite scheme
of the 'Little Flyer in Wheat.' That was what he called it, 'n' I must
say that I think it's a pretty good name, only if I know myself I 'll
buy wheat as never sets down hereafter.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it took a deal of talkin' 'n' Mr. Kimball had to do
a lot of figgerin' before my eyes afore I was ready to believe him when
he said as five of us could go in together 'n' double our money every
few days for a month or so. He showed me as what he was figgerin' from
was printed in plain letters 'n' red ink in a city paper, 'n' after a
while I opened my mouth 'n' swallowed the whole thing, red ink 'n' all.


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