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Dickens, Charles, 1812-1870

"Master Humphrey's Clock"


I was not a little surprised, on turning to go up-stairs, to
encounter the barber in the passage at that late hour; for his
attendance is usually confined to some half-hour in the morning.
But Jack Redburn, who finds out (by instinct, I think) everything
that happens in the house, informed me with great glee, that a
society in imitation of our own had been that night formed in the
kitchen, under the title of 'Mr. Weller's Watch,' of which the
barber was a member; and that he could pledge himself to find means
of making me acquainted with the whole of its future proceedings,
which I begged him, both on my own account and that of my readers,
by no means to neglect doing.

CHAPTER V - MR. WELLER'S WATCH

IT SEEMS that the housekeeper and the two Mr. Wellers were no
sooner left together on the occasion of their first becoming
acquainted, than the housekeeper called to her assistance Mr.
Slithers the barber, who had been lurking in the kitchen in
expectation of her summons; and with many smiles and much sweetness
introduced him as one who would assist her in the responsible
office of entertaining her distinguished visitors.
'Indeed,' said she, 'without Mr. Slithers I should have been placed
in quite an awkward situation.'
'There is no call for any hock'erdness, mum,' said Mr. Weller with
the utmost politeness; 'no call wotsumever. A lady,' added the old
gentleman, looking about him with the air of one who establishes an
incontrovertible position, - 'a lady can't be hock'erd.


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