'
'Wy now,' said Sam, looking round, 'would anybody believe as a man
at his time o' life could be running his head agin spinsters and
punsters being the same thing?'
'There an't a straw's difference between 'em,' said Mr. Weller.
'Your father didn't drive a coach for so many years, not to be ekal
to his own langvidge as far as THAT goes, Sammy.'
Avoiding the question of etymology, upon which the old gentleman's
mind was quite made up, he was several times assured that the
housekeeper had never been married. He expressed great
satisfaction on hearing this, and apologised for the question,
remarking that he had been greatly terrified by a widow not long
before, and that his natural timidity was increased in consequence.
'It wos on the rail,' said Mr. Weller, with strong emphasis; 'I wos
a goin' down to Birmingham by the rail, and I wos locked up in a
close carriage vith a living widder. Alone we wos; the widder and
me wos alone; and I believe it wos only because we WOS alone and
there wos no clergyman in the conwayance, that that 'ere widder
didn't marry me afore ve reached the half-way station. Ven I think
how she began a screaming as we wos a goin' under them tunnels in
the dark, - how she kept on a faintin' and ketchin' hold o' me, -
and how I tried to bust open the door as was tight-locked and
perwented all escape - Ah! It was a awful thing, most awful!'
Mr. Weller was so very much overcome by this retrospect that he was
unable, until he had wiped his brow several times, to return any
reply to the question whether he approved of railway communication,
notwithstanding that it would appear from the answer which he
ultimately gave, that he entertained strong opinions on the
subject.
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